When Self Help’s not working, Try Helping Others: Emotional Alchemy

I hope that the MTSB blogs’ reader(s), and yes, I hope that there’s multiple, appreciate my rigorous honesty. While soon after I regained awareness and the ability to talk, I had virtually no verbal filter, immediately espousing what came into my mind without considering my audience, usually consisting of my mom, who learned quite a bit about her son through my incessant chatter: I hope now my openness and honesty to share is more of my own volition. After all, and I half jest, once you’ve published a memoir; the secret’s out!

Those of you who know me would probably say that I’m a pretty frugal guy. Now my little brother prefers to use the descriptor, cheap b—–d, but I prefer the sound of fiscally responsible.. Case in point, I currently find myself typing in a Barnes and Noble Café today because when I was traveling I saw Golf Digest’s Annual Equipment Review on a newsstand at the airport before boarding my plane home. I’ve been contemplating getting a new driver for the last 4 years: With my decision frozen by the cost, my current 12 year old driver may fall apart soon. As I approached the magazine rack, the issue’s $14 cover price slapped me in the face so despite having 3 and a half hours to read ahead of me, I just couldn’t justify the expense. So here I am perusing a copy of the magazine, library style, resisting the urge to take pictures of individual pages that catch my interest for later review!

I only relay this story highlighting my cheapness because a few day ago I had an inexplicably great day. I had returned from a company meeting in Florida, which I was able to extend for a couple of days of golf, to a pretty intense Nor’easter that blanketed the area in about a foot of snow. As an armchair psychologist, I’ve diagnosed myself as having SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). At the risk of minimizing SAD, which I’ve learned is a legitimate concern for many living away from the equator, let’s just say I hate winter. The frigid walk down the jetway after exiting the plane was enough to lower my spirits, with the snow dump just the next day leaving me despondent.

While I’m not a scented candle and warm bath guy, it struck me that my lower mood and climatically depressed mood seemed to call for a day of self-care: Maybe laying in bed, some spiritual reading, warm beverages, and napping with Clooney would do the trick. Just then my phone buzzed to remind me that my roommate Ben, a great volunteer named Jenny, and I were headed out that morning for 4 hours of shoveling with I Got Bridged (IGB). In a previous post, https://morethanaspeedbump.com/i-got-bridged/, this amazing non-profit organization dedicated to bridging the gap for people in need on the Seacoast was profiled.

I first began shoveling with Freddy, IGB’s founder, last winter when I was really having a difficult time emotionally. In a sort of emotional alchemy, by the end of those first days shoveling I found myself in much higher spirits and actually having a good time. If agreeing to go out for a day of shoveling in cold weather, as a fair weather guy, not naturally inclined to manual labor seems illogical, trust me when I tell you I was thinking the same thing. I mean, how is doing something for someone else actually beneficial to me? I can’t say I know the secret, but it works! Whether it’s getting out of my own head by being of service, or the “move a muscle, change a thought” theory in action, helping others never fails to lift my spirits.