Learnings

I’ll admit it, I tend to overthink things which I suppose is ironic considering the brain injury. Speaking of that, here’s an totally unrelated memory that just was triggered: It was probably 4 or 5 years ago when I was speaking about living with a brain injury to a bunch of 1st and 2nd graders. With complete innocence, a young boy in the first row whose arm shot up so fast he could barely remain seated asked, “If you have a brain injury, can you still think?” You have to love the curiosity and honesty of a 7 year old! Anyways, now back to The Winter Blues…

But back to The Road to Gratitude… Not that long ago I wrote in “It’s the Journey” about another road: “The Road of Happy Destiny”. The word road sure does seem to be popping up a lot? That post examined how it was a road “of” rather than “to” happy destiny that we trudge in recovery. This seemingly minor and semantical difference in word choice reminds me that it is in fact the journey, not the destination, where the experience of living occurs highlighting the importance of enjoying each moment.

And as they say, the rest is history! After going to Krempels that first day to see how I could “volunteer”, I met a program coordinator in the lobby who instructed me to attend the morning meeting to hear about the day’s programming. I was hooked instantly! Struck by the ease and comfort with which members engaged in the community-driven program, no matter the individual challenges each faced, I was overwhelmed by a feeling of “I can do this too!”

While I have to admit to being prone to complaining, or throwing fits at times, I never quite understood the phrase. I just took it to mean that I was whining about something when the complaining wasn’t helping the situation. As I was getting frustrated with something so unimportant that I can’t remember what it was specifically just the other day, I found myself muttering “You’d kick if you were hanging” and thought, I should really find out what that saying means…

While it may seem an oversimplification; I can’t help but see much of life as the choice between discipline now or later. Whether it’s my preexisting impulsivity magnified by TBI or that human preference for instant rather than delayed gratification, choosing discipline rather than pushing the proverbial EASY BUTTON tends to be a tough choice.

After all, for this example, wasn’t it my fear of being assaulted again (fear), desire for self-preservation (self-seeking), hope for uninterrupted bliss (selfish), and view that I ought never experience harm (dishonesty) that led to the resentment?