Just Showing up

I have to admit to my often cynical comments surrounding the idea of ‘participation trophies’. I don’t necessarily remember the first time I became aware of positive recognition/acknowledgement being equally given based on engagement in an activity rather than winning or superior performance. In fact, I find myself quite frequently making comments like, “Things really started going downhill in society when everyone started getting trophies” or channeling my inner old man and saying, “There weren’t any 18th place trophies when I was a kid.”

In case you may be thinking that I have a slanted view of a more egalitarian view on recognition or only want to give accolades to high performers due to a history of collecting trophies, I’ll point out a couple of things: First, I’m only 5’3” and obviously have therefore known my fair share of loss and disappointment. Secondly, and perhaps more important, my seasons of competitive sports have certainly included a few times on winless or nearly winless teams. In fact, it was on some of those teams that I had the most fun and found the most satisfaction and growth. That’s not to say, of course, that I don’t find great joy in winning or feel angst after defeat; just that were I to be given an award or equal recognition to that of the victors after defeat, that in no way would that served me better.

Whether it’s due to my age, other priorities, or the fact that I’m not “professional athlete material”, I don’t find myself in many competitive activities where awards are given out these days. Do I long for the days, real or imagined, when a last second goal was for the Stanley Cup or a knee knocker putt on 18 clinched victory in a PGA Tour event, excuse the grandiose thinking, it was more like basement knee hockey with my cousins or the Mini Masters at Haverhill’s Garrisons Golf Center. Regardless, at 40 years young with left side hemiplegia from my TBI, and perhaps most challenging, having any chance of a late stage growth spurt closed, I suppose the dream of being a world class athlete has vanished.

Thankfully, the one lesson that has really stuck with we through my years of athletic competition is that actually just showing up for life with its’ many activities where my effort is needed when I won’t be the winner or even achieve anything close to my desired outcome is the true victory. And as is usually the case, when I think I’ve thought of something original, usually someone has said it or something similar prior to me…

90% of life is just showing up. (said by many with various percentages given)

“It’s not about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward.” (Rocky Balboa)

You’re not who you were, be who you are. (David Krempels)

Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen. It’s tough to do that when we’re terrified about what people might see or think. (Brene Brown)