Comparison: Thee old thief of joy

I often joke around saying that a decline in our society began when “everyone started getting a trophy in little league”. That’s not to say of course that there is anything wrong with giving kids, or anyone for that matter, a bit of positive feedback; but that the attempt to create a completely egalitarian world can remove incentivization for excellence. Of course, I’m not inferring that only excellence is an acceptable outcome, rather that as the saying goes: “If you shoot for the moon, even if you fall short, you’ll probably still reach the stars.”

If my memory isn’t leading me astray, which is completely possible, I seem to recall mentioning the danger of extreme thinking (particularly the “black or white” variety) in a previous post. And here there can certainly be a risk of seeing only two options when it comes to self-appraisal; as being either a winner or the first loser! But, where did this post’s title come from you ask?

For that answer dear reader, we find ourselves in Keystone, South Dakota at Mt. Rushmore face to face with a our bespectacled 26th president Theodore Roosevelt. Of course, as with many oft used quotes, “Comparison is the thief of joy” has been attributed to many notable people through time: Was it Teddy, C.S. Lewis, or Mark Twain? Regardless, the quotes’ meaning is certainly still relevant in the modern, photoshopped social media-driven world we find ourselves inhabiting today. In fact, the human tendency to gauge our worth based on those around us is especially troublesome with the tendency of people to only let their best, most polished self, see the light of day.

I can hear the cynic’s protestations, most often my in own voice, that if we don’t compare we’ll constantly settle for less, achievement will stop, and our potential will never be reached.  However, complete ignorance to the reality of our place in relation to our peers or even society as a whole, certainly isn’t my prescription for an actualized life. Perhaps, it is who or what we choose as a benchmark or the subject picked to compare with that needs adjustment. After all, as Albert Einstein is believed to have written, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” And isn’t it just as true when we look at the famous physisists’ words as follows: “We all have potential for greatness. But, when compared with others of entirely different makeups and circumstances, we may go through life believing ourselves lacking or inadequate.”

Despite this posts’ title inspired by a simple statement that is often thought to have passed through the lips of a past president known as “Trust Bustin’ Teddy” (for his desire to break monopolistic business empires) who would later inspire the creation of the stuffed children’s bear known as Teddy; I feel the need to tie things up with some kind of thesis so here goes. While comparison can indeed rob us of joy and faced with the reality that there is always someone faster, stronger, taller, who has more…this fact does not diminish our value. In fact, as previously explored, the recognition of difference, need not equate to better or worse. And while the natural reality of difference among all things, whether they be outcomes, people, or even inanimate objects, can indeed be stark, this need not relegate anything as being good or bad, and certainly not better or worse than another.