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Life Goes On

Always a Groomsman, Never a Groom

By Jim Scott

I am well aware that I can tend to overdo it with the self-deprecating humor. Whether it’s a lack of self-esteem driving a need to lower external expectations or, and I’d tend to lean towards the latter, not wanting to use humor in an attacking/cutting way, I seem to find myself the punchline of most of my jokes! With that as a preface to this post, my prompt today is merely a factual observation and not meant as a criticism: Tomorrow will be my sixth time in a wedding party in the last decade. And while I certainly don’t intend this as a brag seeing that I have plenty of friends who are on an apparent wedding circuit with one nearly every other weekend, answering the frequent “So are you married?”, seems to hint that being a 40 year old bachelor isn’t the norm.

While I’d have to be in outright denial not to acknowledge that sustaining a Traumatic Brain Injury at 23 years of age, now more than 16 years ago (don’t do the math), certainly hit the pause button on my life for quite a while, perhaps this is just my path? Although being married isn’t necessarily a prerequisite for having children, I am indeed childless, at least of the human variety. In fact, when a new acquaintance asks if I have kids, I often reply, half-jokingly, “Negative; just a 10 year old dog and I’m exhausted!” While I try not to judge situations as either good or bad, at times I find it difficult to avoid slipping into thinking something’s wrong with me or that I’m behind some societal schedule as a 40 year old bachelor. But let’s not forget that my first marriage lasted exactly negative 4 months…

There I go again with the self-deprecating humor…or is it just a statement of fact? Either way, it is what it is. I’m off to pick up my tux in a bit while my 4 legged son is cowering on my feet as this intermittent thunderstorm engulfs downtown Portsmouth. While I have to admit to feeling a bit of unease about multiple large social engagements occurring over the next few days because they represent a change in my routine, something my good friend Barry says echoes in my mind: “Think about what you can bring to the engagement, not what you’ll get.” So I’ll just enjoy the time with friends and family flying solo…That is unless Clooney feels like celebrating the Bride and Groom?

 

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